Thoughts as rocky as rapids.

I'm going to let you in, dont ask me why, praytell it could a mistake a dire mistake. Maybe letting you in would be the worst possible thing I'd end up doing to myself, but no risk, no reward, and I've been interested in you lately. It maybe the want of attention, or affection, or approval, maybe even companionship; i cant tell for all I know is that I lust for you to care about me, or my words, or some part of me. I want you want me, the song goes, but honestly, I'm perfectly fine if you dont ever consider me in the ways I've thought of you. You just interest me tis' all, and for whatever reason, I'd loved to be an interest of you.

I'd want to interest you with my thoughts, first of all. See how they're far from anything you've heard before, or have ever even known. I'd want you to hear me, but also listen, for the trails of consciousness I've mapped, travel the lengths of this planet, maybe farther. I have in theory is what the wealthy have in property, but what I see and know and understand is worth so much more than the liquidity of an estate and its assets. Knowledge is power, and my brain has the biceps of Goku.

Second, I'd reveal to you myself, minutely, but I'd be all me. From my thoughts to my desires, my goals, my hopes, my fantasies. By expelling to you what I think, I would continue into what I think of myself and the things i wish to accomplish. I would fortell you of a fantasy of my future where I am where I want to be, who I want to be, doing all the things I've dreamed. You'd see how much better I hope to become, and see how closer I try to become that, each and everyday is a struggle, because the things that come easy, leave the same way.

And because by this point you'd know of the things I think, and the man I hope and try to be, you'd learn of my God and me. That He, and He alone, is what strengthens me. This body, this mind, this heart is weak, and more times than not life seems bleak, but my soul has been made strong through my faith that rests in He. He turned my rock bottom into a launchpad, a trampoline, if you will. That every jump throws me higher than before, realizing my potential and all things I can achieve, and after every peak, I fall back down never to forget what I've done, to know and learn and understand that through these hands, I create barren land, but with the same ones, lifted toward Him, success is only determination and dedication away. He revolutionized me, and is constantly doing so. He showed me my shame and walked with me through it, He understood my pain and remedied me through Him. I have so much to thank him for; the words I speak, or write, can never be enough.

Knowing me at this point means you were a great bet, but of my past you know not yet. My father's absence, my mother's neglect, bless them both now, but everything behind the present is set in stone. My hardships, my battles, my pain, you'd know next, for making it this far means you just about have this heart in your chest. Making it this far means you have almost all of me, and that I can truly trust thee. That on my knees, tears the you see, you'd come comfort me, even if you just sat beside me and said nothing. That every part of me, I can give, you have, except that last puzzle piece, because for only my wife, shall I forfeit me. In God's grace, she'll accompany and love me, and I the same. The women of my family aside, she is the only important dame.